More on the Eightfold Path. Or: Damn, Can't I Just, Like, Say A Few Chants or Throw Some Money Into A Collection Plate And Be Done With It?

The EightFold Path can be chopped up into three areas:

1) Signs that you bought the DVD and buy into the Master Plan

• Right Understanding/Right View (Learn why all this should work)
• Right Attitude/Right Intention/Right Aspiration (You're going to at least TRY, right?)

2) Brainal stuff

• Right Mindfulness (Be aware of what you're doing)
• Right Concentration (FOCUS, McFly!)

3) Shit you actually have to get your lazy ass to do (or avoid doing):

• Right Action (Don't be evil)
• Right Speech (Don't be a douche)
• Right Livelihood (Don't work for BP, Perdue, Lockheed Martin, or be Glenn Beck)

It doesn't say that all you need is to have a good heart, or a dedicated mind, or eat right and do ten push-ups a day to make everything hunky-dory. No, you've got be thoughtful, act correctly, and understand why you're doing what you're doing. They support each other, and if you ignore some of them, sooner or later you'll fall behind on all of them.

And here you thought all them there Buddhists did was sit around and hum to themselves while thinking about partially dismembered people trying to applaud. But don't run away just yet.

Though there are alternative approaches. Hookers and blow, anyone?

No? Okay, then . . . we'll be covering the eight elements in a pretty random order. I'd like to say that we'll go from easiest to hardest (or vice-versa), but they're all a bitch.

It's not too late to write a check.