Asshole Buddhism

There's a lot to be said for all this Buddhist stuff, what with the Mindfulness and the Right Action and the Right Livelihood, not to mention the advice that it's cool to be kind and non-violent toward all living things. 

That said, there's an odd strain of Asshole Buddhism out there. It's a combination of some weird stuff from old Zen-ny stories, with a sprinkle of modern-day cultlike hazing.

Exhibit A -- one of 101 stories from the "101zenstories" page.

Now, admittedly, I have fallen behind on my dharma practice, but I fail to see the lesson here other than Ekido is a massive prick. The similarities between this story and the "I think you should kill Isaac ... what do you think?" story in the Good Book are plain:

God: You're sure you're fine with this ... you would say ... if you thought I was asking you to do something "wrong"?

Abraham: Like I'd know! Like I have any chance of forming an independent basis of right and wrong outside the instructions of some supervisory being. No, Lord, I am your bitch!

In modern secular Buddhism, there's adamant rejection of dogma, made easier by the fact that in much of Buddhism in general, there's emphasis on the idea that faith in a higher power is unnecessary, not to mention that mere "belief" is useless. Thich Nhat Hanh, who is apparently something like a 27th-level Buddhist, notes 

"Do not be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology, even Buddhist ones. Buddhist systems of thought are guiding means; they are not absolute truth."

and the big DL says

"Three qualities enable people to understand the teachings: objectivity, which means an open mind; intelligence, which is the critical faculty to discern the real meaning by checking the teachings of Buddha; and interest and commitment, which means enthusiasm."

So ... what is the point, then, of stories which elevate the Teacher to mythic superwise beyond-good-and-evil heights, as many zen stories do? Is it just some sort of hardwired genetic need (or, at least, inclination) many have for a Daddy figure, someone we believe knows everything, who can tell us exactly what is right and what is wrong, so that we feel Safe? Probably -- it's striking, though, how it manifests so similarly across cultures and belief systems that are so otherwise diametrically opposed.

There's not a lot of Asshole Buddhism out there, but every time I see it, it makes me go "bwah?!" (Admittedly, some of it is more douchey than assholey, but why split hairs?) The submit yourself totally to us and if you leave it's because you're "weak-minded" culty Goenka stuff is especially creepy.

That said, it took a lot of time to find even this lame set of examples (hey, when you fall in love with a blog post tile, you don't let something stupid like attachment to Reality get in your way), so I'm probably safe -- it's unlikely Buddhism will turn me into more of an asshole than I already am.