Why the celebration? Because His Grumpiness successfully met his meditation goal for the last three months:
- 20 days of 15 minute sittings
- 20 days of 10 minute sittings
- 20 days of 5 minute sittings
when he should probably feel a little more like this:
After all, there are plenty of folks who meditate for an hour a day, or go off on week-or-month-or-year-long retreats. Well all I can say to that is SCREW THEM. Stupid jerks, running around bragging about how awesome they are, what with their lotus positions and their inner peace.
Er, anyway ... point is, six months ago, I was all "I should meditate but I don't, it's hard and I'm just too impatient and I just end up daydreaming and wah-wah-wah." But now I'm at a spot where not only does meditating feel good (though I still have to drag myself to do it -- it's just not as difficult to do so), but when I get going, it feels like 10-15 minutes is too short.
It's kind of like working out -- the first 10 minutes are hell, but then they get better. Same thing with meditating -- during the first 10 minutes my mind is bouncing around all over the goddamn place, but things start to settle and get more manageable. I've done a couple 20-minuters and they were actually kinda nice.
There's only one drawback, and that's that except for right now, it doesn't feel like that much of an accomplishment. Everything I've read (e.g., stuff like this) suggests that gradual, consistent change is the only kind of change that has a chance to become permanent.
Sadly, the problem with gradual change is that it's not something that is a big endorphin trigger. On the cusp of the accomplishment I am all "Go Me Go!" but I don't feel that things are much different than six months ago, even though they are.
Same with writing: His Grumpiness has written 3000+ words a week for the last two months, and it's clear in retrospect that I'm a better writer than I was even a year ago, but it's not something I feel in my gut.
C'est la vie. It's supposed to be about the journey, not the destination: the whole point is to let go of the checking-off-the-accomplishment-boxes.
Still ... I made my goal, so for tonight, WOOT!
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